ninety

you asked if it meant that little to me
and i didn't know it until now
but it means more than i could ever know
i mean, look at you
look at us
there isn't anything better
that exists
in the whole world
than making you smile

sorry
you're stuck
with me

eighty-nine

i just want to take off these chains
wash my face of you
put up my hair
sleep sweet sleep

i guess i wanted this
to feel alone
like no one gets it anywhere
i revel in it
because i finally feel free of you

it's like this:
i've been wanting so long to be here
and i still feel gone
because it's not me, it's not me here
it's me plus, me and, half of me
and then you

there are so many things about you
i can't stand
i wonder if it's worth it
do it, get mad
we can keep up these tensions
i just want to feel satisfied
i just want to know myself
i just want to live
to live
to live

to life