seventy-nine

things i'll miss about work:
yummy sourdough bread
rob the bartender
wendy darling
my new busser friend
old people that tell me i'm beautiful
having to wear a skirt
having to wear all black every day
incentive to look pretty
rich the manager
lunch after my morning shift
(pasta pesto and a field greens salad)
john mayer over the speakers
doodling on the wipe board
secretary work
making fun of people
the desperate valets
guys hitting on me lots and lots
discussing atlas with mina
zach the host
the cute cook that always smiled at me
talking in spanish
getting cut early (sometimes)
the paycheck every friday

things i won't miss about work:
fucking meri goldstein ohmygodihatehershe'ssofuckingdumb
mary nay, who's fat and ugly and always pushed me out of the way without saying excuse me!
diana, that stupid bitch
mina, that condescending bitch
danielle, that fat, manipulative, whiny, stupid bitch
corporate bullshit that managers make up on the spot to feel controlling
jamie's chauvinism (and he wasn't kidding)
bratty servers that complain all the time
dumbass jock servers that expect me to worship them
feeling ugly when i didn't have time to shower
having inconvenient shifts that prevented me from doing anything
all those damn picky customers that ask for another table and i have to smile and act like it's the greatest thing i've ever done to seat them somewhere else
the terrible music they play (besides john mayer)
bree, that damn bitch that thinks i'm 17 and that photography is "cute" (!)
cece, the man woman, because s/he always calls me "miss thing" in its gross voice
cleaning out the ashtray
chef john, because every time i would walk by he would say "smile" WHEN THERE IS NO ONE LOOKING AT ME GOD DAMMIT HOW DOES SOMEONE SMILE EVERY GODDAMN SECOND OF THE DAY
meri goldstein, again, because she cares so much about her fucking fake nails, and her hair was always frizzy and she's making me confuse my tenses
the fact that mina made $2.50 more than me just because she's a bitch and everyone's scared of her
styrofoam cups everywhere and nobody ever recycles!
stingy to-go people that never tip even when i carried your food out to your car in the heat when i had 800 other things to do i hate you in your stupid convertible
the alleged cool group that all hangs out together and comes into staff meetings hungover so everybody knows they hung out together atabarallnightbecausethey'realcoholicsandaredoingnothingwiththeirlivesexceptworkingatbrio! fuckers



i'm glad i did the good things first
because remembering all of this shit
put me in a bad mood