ninety-two

funny how all the bad things
pile up into one big heap
of tears and emptiness

tomorrow none of this will matter
but why does it still feel like i'm only
half alive
i thought this place would complete me
and instead it's only more of the same
what am i looking for?
it's always someone else, somewhere else
and i thought that the now was just waiting
for me right here
but it seems it's still
out of reach

don't say it
please don't say you're feeling it too
it makes it so much worse
because it feels real then