twenty-four

when all has faded
every thought of compliance
every ounce of me that thinks that i should be here
when every desire to stay has been drained from me

i fall apart.

i crumble under the weight of time
counting days
hours
minutes
seconds
every part of me wishing
i was somewhere else

get me out of this fucking city
i hate all of its stupid bullshit
i hate these damn rich people with every whim fulfilled
by me, all smiles and sorry's because i need the cash
i hate the traffic and the heat
sweltering exhaust turning the air into some shifting desert mirage
my only oasis is far, far away.

i just figures
the one chance i get to leave
falls through
and so i'm stuck
like a fly in a spiderweb
like a bird in a cage
like a little girl with no place to go

you tell me the time will pass quickly
that i should enjoy myself, it's summer!
summer with friends constantly vacationing
summer with work
work
fucking work
summer with a car without air conditioning
summer five hours away from the only place that could satisfy me
and no way to get there.

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

i am so angry.