nineteen

my brother
has all the potential in the world
but sits around
making excuses about
why he cannot work today.

and i
with everything given to me
say that it should have been so
say that i don't need anything else
just so i won't have to try to get it.

i see things in others
that i'm blind to in myself
until the moment comes
when it's there, staring me in the face
and so i pretend
like it never really mattered


i am so
so
flawed.